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Funky Noodle

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I checked out Funky Noodle, a Chinese noodle spot in Central London, and what’s great is that it has a fully halal food menu. You’ve probably seen this place already, as it went viral for its short rib noodles.
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Fried Rice with Aromatic Cumin Lamb – £12.80
  • Lamb Skewer x2 – £5.00 ⭐
  • Chicken Skewer x2 – £5.00 ⭐
  • Fried Chicken Dumplings – £6.80
  • Desert-Style Lamb Ribs – £13.80
  • Oil Spill Hand-Pulled Noodles with Braised Beef Ribs – £18.80 ⭐
  • Handmade Noodles in Rich Beef Broth – £13.80
  • Sanpao Traditional Tea – £6.50
  • Rock Sugar Pear Drink – £3.50
  • Chinese Fanta – £3.50

The star of the show was the Oil Spill Hand-Pulled Noodles with Braised Beef Ribs. This was such a great dish, and they sell over 400 of them a day! Very unique and something I fully recommend.

Oil spill hand pulled noodles with braised beef at Funky Noodle

I also enjoyed the lamb and chicken skewers, as well as the dumplings.

Lamb and chicken skewers at Funky Noodle Charing Cross Road

I tried their second most popular dish too, the handmade noodles with beef. The noodles are super long and come served in a subtly flavoured beef broth that I found didn’t pack much flavour, though adding some chilli oil helped.

Handmade noodles in rich beef broth at Funky Noodle

The desert lamb ribs were packed with loads of flavour and cooked nicely. The richness of the fatty lamb mixed with the spicy cumin marinade creates a strong flavour, so I’d recommend this as a sharing plate.

The only dish that wasn’t at the same level as everything else was the fried rice. It didn’t taste fresh, and it wasn’t a dish I wanted more than one bite of.
Overall, a very enjoyable meal. Grab some skewers for starters, then the famous short rib noodles as a main with a Chinese pear drink, and you won’t be disappointed.

📍 Funky Noodle, 103 Charing Cross Road, London WC2H 0DT
✅ All food halal
✅ No pork
🍺 Alcohol served
🍉 Not BDS aligned
3-star food hygiene rating

My meal was complimentary, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Axe and Ember

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There’s a new fully halal smokehouse that’s just opened up in Walthamstow, and at the helm is none other than the smoked-meat final boss himself, pitmaster Tiberius Tudor. So you already know the meat here is taken seriously.
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Prime Brisket – £12 / 100g ⭐
  • Dino Ribs – £11 / 100g
  • Dukeshill Turkey – £9 / 100g
  • Smoked Flap Steak – £10 / 100g
  • Brisketwich – £14 ⭐
  • Pitmaster Potatoes – £6
  • Hill Country Slaw – £5
  • Campfire Corn – £4

Prime brisket, dino ribs and brisketwich at Axe and Ember Walthamstow

Everything here is cooked over fire, and when someone with this level of experience is behind the pit, you know the meat is going to deliver.

My favourites were easily the brisket and the brisketwich. The brisket was perfect: smoky, soft, juicy and packed with flavour.

The brisketwich is an epic pulled-meat sandwich, and the addition of the red cabbage slaw brings the perfect balance of acidity and sweetness. So good.

Smoked meat trays with brisket, slaw and campfire corn at Axe and Ember Walthamstow

The steak cooked over fire was a perfect medium rare, juicy with that smoky flavour coming through.

The ribs had a crispy exterior and were very rich, but there wasn’t much meat, mainly fat, so I wasn’t too keen on these. I also tried the turkey. It was juicy, but personally turkey has just never been for me.

Trays of smoked brisket, turkey and sides at Axe and Ember

The decor is simple and rustic, though it felt a little cold with the lack of warm touches.
The restaurant is owned by a Pakistani Muslim couple, and you may have seen a recent video where one of the owners was racially abused (this happened shortly after I left the restaurant). So if you love smoked meats and also want to show support for a female Muslim business owner, you know where to go.

Closed Mondays and Tuesdays. Limited street parking, free after 6:30pm and all day Sunday.

📍 Axe and Ember, 41 Orford Road, Walthamstow E17 9NL
✅ All food halal
✅ No alcohol served (BYOB permitted)
🍉 BDS aligned

My meal was complimentary, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Penang City

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I’ve been to Penang City in East London twice before, both times as a paying customer, and this time I was invited down to give an honest review.

My experiences here have been genuinely mixed. My first visit was good, the second was disappointing, so I was hoping they could redeem themselves. Unfortunately, this visit didn’t quite get there either.
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Mix Platter – £12.99
  • Roti Canai Chicken – £8.99
  • Nasi Lemak with Beef Rendang – £12.99
  • Prawn Sambal – £9.99
  • Curry Laksa – £12.99
  • Mango Sticky Rice

 

The chicken satay was overcooked, dry and had an unusual coating that didn’t resemble traditional satay, and the peanut sauce was lacking flavour. The chicken wings were disappointing too. They had a bitter taste and dark colour that suggested they may have been cooked in old oil. The spring rolls and curry puffs were okay, but nothing memorable.

The beef rendang had potential. The meat itself was soft and tender, but the flavour felt underdeveloped. A good rendang should be rich, deep and packed with layers of flavour, and this one never quite got there.

The Char Kuey Teow came out extremely spicy for me. To be fair to them, they remade it without chilli and the second version was much better.

Malaysian dishes spread at Penang City including prawn sambal and beef rendang

The Curry Laksa was another disappointment. I had it here around a year ago and remembered enjoying it, but this version felt oily and the broth lacked the richness and depth I expected. The chicken curry served with the roti canai had good flavour, but there was very little meat and a lot of bone.

Overall, the food lacked the bold, vibrant flavours I normally associate with Malaysian cooking and was a step down from my first visit. Apart from the satay and wings, nothing was outright bad, but very little impressed me either.

The best thing about the meal was the Malay auntie working here. She was warm, welcoming and even remembered us from our first visit over a year ago.

Overall I’d score this a 4.5/10, below average. There are only two other Malaysian spots in East London, one in E17 and one in E20, so I really do want this place to be better.

📍 Penang City, 61 Upton Lane, London E7 9PB
✅ All food is halal (HMC certified)
✅ No alcohol

My meal was complimentary, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Smokey Boys Piccadilly

This is the ONLY fully halal restaurant in the West End that offers more than just burgers.

I was invited to check out Smokey Boys, who have just opened in Piccadilly Circus. I’d actually never heard of this brand before, but they already have eight other locations across the UK.
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Smoked BBQ Rib – £18 ⭐
  • Smoked Pulled Beef Brisket – £16 ⭐
  • Off-Menu Caviar Burger – £14.99
  • Double Smash – £9
  • Angry Southern Fried Burger – £12
  • Double Jointed Grilled Wings (4pc) – £8
  • Skin On Fries – £4

Let’s start with the good. The best thing I ate were the BBQ ribs. These are slow cooked for 12 hours and you can taste the effort, they were made with love. Super soft, very tender and the BBQ sauce had a well-balanced flavour. The pulled beef brisket was also solid. You get a generous portion and it tastes great.

Double smash burger at Smokey Boys Piccadilly

Next, the smash burgers. They were not on the same level as the ribs or brisket. I found them a bit too dry, crusty and not juicy, and I couldn’t taste or smell the aged beef they use.

I also tried an off-menu item, a caviar burger. Let’s just say it should stay off the menu. The crispy fried onions were good, but the overall combination didn’t work. It felt like an attempt to make something viral that didn’t land for me.

 

I also tried the chicken burger, and from the first bite I could tell it was cooked from frozen. The texture and flavour suggested it wasn’t freshly prepared, and it wasn’t great. I spoke with the chef afterwards and he said they won’t cook from frozen moving forward, admitting it was done because it’s not busy yet. Personally that feels like a shortcut, but credit to him for being open to feedback. The wings also didn’t taste fresh and need improvement.
If you come here, stick with the BBQ ribs or brisket with a side. There’s plenty of seating across two floors, and if you work nearby there’s a lunchtime offer with a burger, chips and drink for £9.95, which is decent value.

📍 Smokey Boys, 23 Haymarket, London SW1Y 4DG
✅ All food halal
✅ No alcohol served
🍉 Not fully BDS friendly, but alternative Mexican drinks are available

This is a paid collaboration. My meal was complimentary and my thoughts are honest as always.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Q Beef Noodles

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I recently checked out Q Beef Noodles, located in the West End. A Chinese restaurant with a fully halal food menu and no pork in sight, everything is halal here, including the duck!
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Off-Menu Golden Beef Noodles
  • Beef Rib Oil-Splashed Knife Cut Noodles – £16.90
  • Sliced Beef Fried Noodles – £13.50 ⭐
  • Won Ton Soup – £6.80
  • Lamb Skewers x2 – £5
  • Beef Skewers x2 – £5
  • Chicken Skewers x2 – £5
  • Roujia Mo with Beef – £7.50

All the food was fresh, authentic and came in good portions. You also get unlimited toppings and garnishes from a self-service station, which is a nice touch. The restaurant itself is cosy and intimate.

All the noodles are handmade and made fresh. I was invited to see the chefs in action in the kitchen, and it’s very impressive to see the skills on display.

My favourite dish was the sliced beef fried noodles. Velvety soft beef with fresh hand-pulled noodles, this was really tasty.

I also tried the popular beef short rib oil-splashed noodles with soft, tender beef. The skewers were nice too, freshly grilled meats with Chinese seasonings.
A proper fully halal Chinatown gem with rich beef noodle soups and handmade noodles. Well worth a visit if you’re in the West End.

📍 Q Beef Noodles, 24 Romilly Street, London W1D 5AH
✅ All meats halal
✅ No pork
🍺 Alcohol is served

This was an invite, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Roti and Spice

I made a trip to North London near Enfield and checked out Roti and Spice, a restaurant serving up authentic Indian, Sri Lankan and Malaysian dishes. I’m a big fan of Malaysian flavours, so I was looking forward to this one.

The menu has a good range, and I was able to try dishes with different flavours from different regions.
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Non Veg Platter – £19.99 (2 Chicken Rolls, 2 Mutton Rolls, 2 Fish Cutlets, 3 Chicken Satay & Squid)
  • Malaysian Fried Chicken – £11.99
  • Garlic and Butter Prawn – £12.99 ⭐
  • Egg Dosa – £10.99
  • House Special Rice & Curry in Banana Leaf – £16.99 with mutton curry
  • Mee Goreng – £12.99 ⭐
  • Beef Rendang – £13.99
  • Butter Chicken – £11.99
  • 2pc Paratha – £5.99
  • Mocktails

The Mee Goreng was excellent. It’s a dish I ate loads of while I was in Malaysia, and this one tasted great, delicious noodles in a tasty sauce.

The garlic butter prawns were light, soft and delicious, with really good textures and flavours.

The Sri Lankan rolls from the mix platter, the chicken, mutton and fish, were all really good. Very authentic flavours and tasty with good amounts of meat filling. I wasn’t too keen on the satay though.

The house special is rice and curry wrapped in a banana leaf. Basmati rice with four vegetable curries and a small dhal, loads of strong bold flavours. I actually ate most of this the next day as I took the leftovers away.

Beef rendang is my all-time favourite dish. This one had solid flavours and very soft beef, a bit saucier in consistency than I like, but decent nevertheless.
Overall, a decent place to try with some good Sri Lankan and Malay classics.

📍 Roti and Spice, 752 Green Lanes, London N21 3RE
✅ All food is halal
✅ No pork
🍺 Alcohol present

My meal was complimentary, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Esnaf Lokantasi

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I was in Enfield last weekend after a trip to the Sunday car boot and was in the mood for Turkish. I found a family-run spot that’s very different from your usual grill and kebab places.

This is Esnaf Lokantasi, a canteen cafe style spot. You grab a tray, head up to the counter and pick a main. I went for the lamb shank with potatoes and carrots, and it comes with rice or bulgur, soup, tzatziki, salad, spicy kofte and bread.

Lamb shank with rice, soup, salad and sides on a tray at Esnaf Lokantasi Enfield

It’s a really simple spot, but I liked my lamb shank and the food was proper homestyle Turkish cooking, the kind of food you’d get in a family home rather than a restaurant.

📍 Esnaf Lokantasi, 4 Green Street, Enfield EN3 7HG
✅ All food halal
✅ No alcohol

I paid for my meal. This was not an invite.

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Tea & Co

It’s been a while since I last posted. I took a break from reviews and eating out, but I’m back with a great breakfast and brunch spot in Hackney.

I was really impressed at Tea & Co. The food tasted great, the service was lovely, and the presentation was on point. Most importantly, it’s a place I’d happily visit again.
Here’s what I ordered:

  • Berry Nutty Delight – £11
  • Southern Fried Chicken and Waffles – £12
  • The Bengal Brunch – £13.95
  • Tea & Co Special – £15
  • Brunch on the Med – £13.95
  • Bangladeshi Citrus Mojito – £7

The Berry Nutty Delight is French toast topped with warm Nutella, which melts into the vanilla and hazelnut premium Italian gelato to create an absolutely delicious flavour bomb. I really enjoyed this.

Southern fried chicken and waffles with fried egg at Tea and Co

They make their croissant waffles fresh from scratch, which is a nice touch. Served with spicy fried chicken goujons and finished with apple syrup, the flavours came together really well. Another winner.

The Bengal Brunch desi breakfast at Tea and Co

The Bengal Brunch is a proper desi-style breakfast featuring chicken curry, a desi omelette, aloo bhaji and more. It was a bit too spicy for me, but it came packed with variety, almost like a thali.

The Tea & Co Special was recommended to me, and it’s packed with both sweet and savoury brunch items all on one plate. The fresh, fluffy American pancakes stood out, soft, light and very well made.

My wife ordered the Brunch on the Med and said the Turkish sausages (sujuk) were the best she’s ever had. The plate also came with two fried eggs, grilled halloumi, mixed olives, pomegranate salad with feta, grilled tomatoes, fresh fruit, simit bread, plus honey and olive oil dips. A great spread.

Colourful mocktails at Tea and Co Hackney

The Bangladeshi Citrus Mojito is a refreshing mocktail made with Bangladeshi limes. It instantly brought back childhood memories of drinking this at my aunt’s house. So good.
A brilliant brunch spot in Hackney that I’d happily return to.

📍 Tea & Co, 17 Kingsland High Street, London E8 2JS
✅ Fully halal
✅ No alcohol
🍉 BDS aligned

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Hera

A new fine dining restaurant with a Greek-inspired menu has just opened, hidden away behind Westfield Stratford, and it has a fully halal food menu. The decor is stunning, very classy and modern. I was invited down and tried the £60 set menu.

We began with Feta Saganaki, feta cheese wrapped in angel hair pastry and drizzled with lemon honey. It feels like a dessert, but it was a light and tasty start to the meal.

Feta saganaki wrapped in angel hair with lemon honey at Hera

The bread basket paired well with the Melitzanosalata, very similar to baba ganoush, finely chopped smoked aubergine with thyme and honey. I also tried Taramas, a dip made with smoked cod roe and dill oil.

For starters I had the Seabass Carpaccio, thin slices of raw seabass with a yuzu lemon dressing, dill oil and radish. But the best thing I ate all night were the beef meatballs served with tzatziki, beautifully cooked and genuinely delicious.

Beef meatballs with tzatziki at Hera Greek restaurant Stratford

For mains I opted for the grilled lamb chops. I requested medium but it came out more on the medium rare side, and I felt like it should have come with a side or something else on the plate.

Grilled lamb chops at Hera fine dining Stratford

I also had the beef-filled ravioli cooked in a creamy truffle and mushroom sauce, which I found very rich with a strong truffle flavour.

Dessert saved the best for last. I’ve been searching for a Turkish dessert called Milk Kadayif, and here I tried something very similar: Ekmek Kataifi, a Greek dessert made with shredded phyllo pastry, pistachio, custard and whipped cream. I really enjoyed this, a good balance of sweetness and lovely textures.

I also had the Halva, which I thought was going to be a chocolate cake, but it’s like the haluwa popular in South Asian countries, made from semolina. A nice dessert.

Ekmek kataifi and halva desserts at Hera

All food is halal: beef, lamb and chicken, with no pork on the menu. Some dishes are cooked with wine, but these can easily be omitted when you mention you want halal food. Alcohol is served.

📍 Hera, 4 Arber Way, Stratford Cross, London E20 1JS. Behind Westfield Stratford: walk past Heavenly Desserts towards the Everyman cinema, it’s hidden away.

My meal was gifted, but all thoughts and opinions are my own. #invite #ad

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram

Muku Hotpot

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Finally, there’s a fully halal hotpot spot that’s just opened up, and it’s brilliant as well as great value. This is Muku Hotpot, located in Walthamstow.

Unlike other “halal” hotpot places, this one is fully halal. No alcohol and, importantly, no pork on the menu. The meat is also sourced from HMC-certified suppliers.

£27.99 gets you hotpot, a drink, and unlimited extras per person.

Thinly sliced beef, lamb and chicken platters for hotpot at Muku Walthamstow

I visited and had a great time. You get your own individual hotpot and can choose your spice level, I went for medium. The broth isn’t just water and chillies like some other places. It’s a proper bone broth with a rich, deep flavour.

You’re served a selection of thinly sliced beef, lamb, chicken breast and sea bass at the table. You also have access to a fridge where you can help yourself to prawns, fish balls and a wide range of vegetables to cook in your broth.

Aromatics and sauces are served at your table to enhance the flavour of your bowl, and the flavours developed throughout the meal, getting even better as time went on.

I was amazed that I could dip a piece of raw chicken into the hotpot, have it cook in just 20 seconds, and still taste incredible from soaking up all that flavour.

A great spot that I fully recommend, perfect for any occasion. The owners are Uyghur and also run the popular Etles restaurant just across the road.

📍 Muku Hotpot, 300 Hoe Street, Walthamstow E17 9QD
✅ Fully halal (HMC, unstunned)
✅ No alcohol
✅ Prayer space
🍉 BDS aligned

▶️ Watch my visit on Instagram